Saturday, December 15, 2007

Digital Fortress Unfortified

I just finished my third noveL for Dan Brown, i read Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons and now i just finished Digital Fortress, there is another one left which is Deception Point. I really enjoyed each and every part of those 3 novels. I read Digital FortrEss in couple of weeks and that's because i go to work and i also stayed in bed for few days because i was very sick and couldn’t read at that time. Through out that tiMe i was very much affected by the codes and encryptions, i even tried to encrypt the sTrange strings of numbers and letters in some programs on my computer, i also sent decoded messages to the people that i love to add some excitement to their lives. But how encryption started In its earliest form? when pEople have been attempting to conceal certain information that they wanted to keep to their own possession by substituting parts of the information with symbols, numbers and pictures.
Ancient Babylonian merchAnts used intaglio, a piece of flat stone carved into a collage of iMages and some writing to identify themselves in trading transactions. Using this mechanism, they are producing what today we kNow as 'digital signature.' The public knew that a particular 'signature' belonged to this trader, but only he had the intaglio to produce that signature.
Caesar was the first code-writer in history. When his foot-messengers stArted getting ambushed and his secret communiqu├ęs stolen, he devised a rudimentary way to enCrypt his directives. He rearranged the text of his messages such that the correspondence looked senseless. Of course, it was not each message always had a letter count which that was a perfect square, sixteen, twenty five, one hundred, depending on how much the Caesar nEeded to say.
He secretly informed his officers that when a random message arrived, they should transcribe the text into a square grid. If they did, and read top to bottom, a secret message would magically appear.
This method of encryption Dan Brown called it "Caesar Square" " and at the last page of the paperback bOok he left a string of numbers, the code that appears in the end of the book is: 128-10-93-85-10-128-98-112-6-6-25-126-39-1-68-78
Here's the way you decode it, take the numbers and arrange them in 4 Vertical columns of 4 numbers. It should look like this:
128 10 6 39 10 128 6 1 93 98 25 68 85 112 126 78
Each number corresponds to a chapter in the book, in which the first letter is cOnveniently larger than the rest, For example, chapter 128 starts 'WheN Susan awoke'. The resulting text is:
WECGEWHYAAIORTNU
That is the letter that each number stands for. Using the "Caesar Square" method, you end up with:
W E A R E W A T C H I N G Y O U
"We are watching you."
NoW you can send as many encrypted messages as you want but make sure that the receiver's IQ is not less than 140 like me ;) And hey there is a hidden coded message in this post, look for it and tell me if you got it right, ok? - Silly Ellie

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Paint My Life

I know that I'm not the only one but like what I said in the send your soul theory I just feel that human soul has great undiscovered powers, if we really believed in them and really worked on them we will do marvelous things, we could reach stars and rule the world.
The newest theory I'm working on now is as follows: You can paint your life with your own mind Listen to this story and you'll know exactly what I mean, Through out the previous month I was troubled with plenty of negative feelings, specially on the eleventh of November, on that day I was so depressed and stressed out, I felt that life was unbearable, I had sleeping problems, didn’t concentrate at work, my PC was broken and my husband traveled. I saw everything in black, I was at work and on my way home it toke me three hours to get there, with people fighting and uttering every swearing word I could ever imagine, I wanted to cry so mush that I felt my tears are locked deep inside. Then I thought to myself that I have to get my self out of this misery because if I let myself in this state I would get into very bad depression. On the following day I kept thinking of the beautiful things in my life, I maximized every moment of happiness, on my way to work I kept contemplating in anything and looking at every face I see with a look full of love of the life. I felt that my life turning to be a painting with colorful places, with babies playing in gardens, lovers walking hand in hand and people loving one another, no place for hatred no place for envy in their hearts. Only right then that I discovered that my life is like a small painting that I own, I can paint it the way I want, every passing day is like a new blank piece of paper and it is me and only me who draws and paint it. Try this exercise with me and you'll know what I mean: Take a look at the room you're setting in right now for 2 minutes, try to memorize every single detail in your mind, then close your eyes for other two minutes, while you are closing your eyes try to count all the things and objects that is colored in RED Now open your eyes, and tell me when you were searching at the back of your mind for the objects colored red, haven’t you noticed that these objects stood out as if they were calling at you to notice them? Haven't you noticed that all the room seemed as if it was colored in red, yeah… this is what you would experience in your every day life. If you thought of misery, unhappiness and ugliness deep inside, you will see your life is painted with the same color your thoughts were painted with, you will see the ugliest things in life manifested in front of you, and vice versa. Just think of the people you love, the job you do now which you wanted to do years ago, the skills you have now that many people envy you for and the breaths you take now that some people are prevented from at this same moment and you will see your life is painted with contentment, happiness and love.

Which reminds me of this quote from the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, "When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it. "

So clean your brush, close your eyes, start painting your life and leave me now to paint mine;) - Silly Ellie

Friday, October 26, 2007

Life is like a BIG bowl of Kushari

For those who are not familiar with the word Kushari and what does it stands for, Kushari is a cheap Egyptian food consisting of spaghetti, macaroni, rice, lentils, corn, fried onions, and a spicy tomato sauce. This mixture of unrelated things together make the most famous Egyptian dish, though what I'm referring to is not the type you can find our Moms and real housewives make at home but what I mean here is the Kushari that is served in the Kushari restaurants that its smell makes you faint. For me life is like a big bowl of Kushari for two reasons, The first reason is the different items that are mixed together to result in a totally different thing and I guess this is what life is all about, we human beings are very different, different languages, colors, religions, lifestyles, ways of thinking and ways of expressing what we feel. Its all different but in the end it is mixed together to give a unique and a special result. The other reason is that in this mixture every item affects or influences the other in a way or the other, I mean mixing with people would affect you in a way or the other just like the mixture of tomato sauce with rice and spaghetti gives each item a different taste. When I mix with some people and deal with them they bring out the worst in me, they make me feel very stressed and they overload me with very negative feelings and ideas, some others just being around them make me happy and I feel that something deep inside me was affected by them, they bring out the best in me, the love for life and for the people and also the need to be a better person. life is like a Big bowl of Kushari for another thing, sometimes it tastes good and you feel that you want to live every minute as if you are drinking from life itself its beauty and happiness, sometimes it doesn’t, too spicy, too smelly or too much to handle in one plate exactly like life sometimes it just feels as if it stinks as if every minute is unbearable pain, but every time you eat Kushari and every time you go on and continue living your life there would always be a feeling of incompleteness, a lack of satisfaction because the whole purpose of this life is not to be fully satisfied or happy, satisfaction and complete happiness are in another place and time which I liken to a BIG bowl of fruit salad or cream caramel or… I'm hungry now, gotta fix my self something to eat :D
Hey, life for me is a Big bowl of Kushari, what life is for you? - Silly Ellie

Monday, August 27, 2007

Send Your Soul

After the post I wrote last June that was titled (thinking about you) I had many requests to continue my research on my theory, sending the soul, because many incidents proved that this theory is 100 % right. I'll tell you what happened and if you still don’t believe me then we can discuss it in more details later. One day one of my colleagues after reading my blog told me on the messenger, Homer Van Doh: Ellie, I'm trying to send brain signals to one of my friends all day but she doesn’t respond. Ellie: its either she is very busy in something or she is asleep. Homer Van Doh: its 3:00 pm now she couldn’t be sleeping til now In half an hour later I met her in the corridor and she said Homer Van Doh: you won't believe it, she was actually sleeping. Ellie: I was sure, I'm 100 % sure of my theory and if it doesn’t work with some one its because they don’t practice it and use their powers, but we all have these powers in us. Another day the grandmother of one of my friends died and she didn’t come to work I tried to txt her on her mobile phone and after that she txted me back saying: Ellie! I knew that its u without saving ur number yet I looked 4 it and when I saw it was u I was really touched! U know ur theory is 100% right. And I have hundreds of experiences with many people and the strength of telepathy or sending the soul as I prefer to call it differs from one recipient to another according to their significance in my life and their place in my heart;) In the coming posts I'll give you my extensive and detailed research on my theory with all levels of sending the soul, smell and even a call for help using our given powers. Have you been through an experience that proved sending the soul theory right/ wrong? Share it with us :)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar Away Land

Lately I've been taking a nap after Fajr and this nap would take me long that I would wake up at 10 and go to work very late, today I decided that I wont take this nap and go to my work early. So, I woke up, prayed Fajr, ironed my clothes and left my house at 7:00 am.
Once I walked in the street I felt the morning breathe on my face, it was sooooo cool and I liked it to the most, I kept walking, but there was something strange, I didn’t see any one walking or any cars passing by, no voice of a human being, the windows are closed and the city seemd sooooo quite.
I kept walking then I remembered the Egyptian movie that I saw only one time in my life and they didn’t show it again called (Adam Bidon Ghitaa, Uncovered Adam) this movie is a bout a man who woke up one day finding that there was no one on the whole country it was himself alone with absolutely no one at all.
The idea amused me to the most and I kept imagining if this would happen for real, I saw my self walking in the streets of Zayed, so happy, calling to people and so happy that there is no one to answer, going to the Huge Hyper 1 (A mall in Zayed city) and eat hundreds of chocolates and thousands of delicious sweets and tarts, Yummy Yummy.
Hmmmm, then what I would do, yeah I'll go to this building it has about 20 flats I will live each day in a different flat and when my 21st day comes I'll change the whole building, no I could live in a different building every day, no no I would go to the area of Villas where there is a swimming pool attached to every Villa, heeeeeeeeeyha I would finally be able to swim with no fear that any one would look or the swimming pool is not covered enough, I wouldn’t care there is no one to see.
No the villa is not a good idea, I could go and live in the president palace, yeah why not? There is no one, absolutely no one, therefore there is no government, politics, wars and no news which means that I wouldn’t work because I work for the media, oh my God who needs media now, I'll be the president of this country, no I would be the queen of this country and all countries.
The thing is it will be very far from here to get to the palace, I live in Zayed and the palace is in Al-Quba, I wouldn’t be able to walk, it is very far, and I don’t know how to drive.
Ellie, I think its time for you now to learn how to drive and I think u wouldn’t need a trainer you can do it by yourself, there would be no one that would bump into you and swear at you saying "watch out you …. …."
Which car should I take?, hmmmmm, this BMW is soooo cute, but no keys on, ok ok I'll take this lancer.
Ok here I am, this is the wheel, and this is the horn, and these two things I don’t know what to call them, but which one for what? Ok I think I should run the car using the keys first.
I always had a dream that I'm driving a car and I'm driving it from the back seat, they say that a car in a dream is an indication to ones life, then that means that I'm either running my life in a wrong way or that I'm not in full control over my life.
Anyways, I just have to get this thing running, ok now its running, I hear the motor sound, what should I do then? What should I do? Yeah press on these things with my foot but left or right, left or right ok, I'll push both any way. I think it started, but I cant control this steering wheel, the car is running as if it is drunk, I mean from far left to the far right, ok, I should move this wheel slowly, ok this is much better. What is this arm on my right side, mmmm I think I will try to see what is it for, ohwoooooooooow, the car is moving soooooo fast, I cant control it, I cant control it.
What is this sound? Oh my God, there is another car coming, I can hear its sound but I cant see it, where is this car, I cant control mine, where is this sound coming from? I'm looking everywhere around me there are no cars only the sound of one.
"Tahrir ya anisa?, are you going to Tahrir, Ms?" I woke up from this scary daydream on the voice of the driver of the microbus I was waiting for, I was seated, opened the window and breathed the morning fresh air, oh my God, great! Now I would go to work! :(
I wish my dream was for real and I wouldn’t have to go to work anymore, but on second thought life would be sooooooo boring without the endless tasks ustaz Kamal is overloading me with;)
Here I come Islamonline, heeeeeeeeeeeeyha.
- Silly Ellie

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Lets Talk About.....Me

Its been a month now and I didn’t write any new posts on my blog, I didn’t know what to write and I was soooooooooo busy with so much work, many decisions to take and I had this writing block again, that’s why I thought of sharing with you my answers to this questionnaire. It’s a bit long so bare with me ;) 1. Initials: EF 2. What is your favorite thing to wear? Outside? Depends on where I'm going or what I'm doing. Lately I prefer to wear black Jilbab. 3. Last thing you ate? Doritos, family size. 4. For or against same sex marriage? Against of course, its against our innate nature. but I leave the judgment to Allah. 5. I say Shotgun! You say? Eating! 6. Last person you hugged? My Mom, this morning. 7. Do you believe in God? Yes 8. How many U.S states have you been to? None 9. How many of the U.S. states have you lived in: None 11. Name something you like physically about yourself? My fingers 13. Who is your best friend? The closest person to me at the moment is my sister, Amal 14. Why are you still up? I'm not. I'm sitting down. 15. Who made you angry today? Angry? No I never been in such a content mood like today 16. Favorite type of Food? Egyptian, Italian and Middle-Eastern. 17. Favorite holidays: I dont know. 18. Do you download music? I used to, now I'm too busy to do so. 19. Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yes. I do, unless I'm really happy and over the moon then I wouldn't care about anything. 21. Would you date the person who posted this? Date? .I don’t date. 22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Yes. Either my sisters' kids or my mother. 23. Do you love anyone? yes 24. Do you like Bush? no. 25. Have you ever bungee jumped? no 26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? no 27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? What? Even if they did, I wont let them. 28. How much money ya got? Not gonna tell ya ;) 29. Have you met a real redneck? Nope. 30. How is the weather right now? Very very humid and hot, its July in Egypt, if you know what I mean. 31. What are you listening to right now? The noise of the AC 32. What is your current favorite song? I don't have one. Maybe Sakeena from closer than veins album by Outlandish 33. What was the last movie you watched? Some Episodes of Ummah films for Baba Ali on youtube 34. Do you wear contacts: yep, every once in a while and I also do reading glasses. 35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? My sister's house in Haram 36. What are you afraid of? Many things. All with good reason. 37. How many piercing and tattoo's have you had? 2. My ears, but they got closed now. 38. How many pets do you have? I don’t have any now but planning to get a new cat inshaaAllah. 39. What's one thing you've learned? NO matter what I do if I did it for the sake of Allah it will bring me so much happiness. 40. What do you usually order from Starbucks? I don’t order from Starbucks 42. Have you ever fired a gun: Noooooooooooo 43. Are you missing someone: I do. 44. Fav. TV show? Dont have one. I don't watch much tv. 45. Do you have an iPod?: no 46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Looked like and acted like, Meg Ryan. They lie, don’t believe them 48. Who would you like to see right now? Not gonna tell ya. 49. Favorite movie of all time? Mulan, animated movie about a Chinese girl who pretends to be a boy. 50. Do you find yourself loved? I give love because I want to get love. I believe I have succeeded. 51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do? Yes. Many times. 52. Favorite flower: Daisies or Jasmine. 53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? I don’t like popcorn. 54. What Magazines are you reading? The Economist, Community Times, Maadi Community magazine. 55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?: No 56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? yes. 58. What's something that really bugs you? Right now...the noise of the cars down in the street. 60. Do you like Michael Jackson? No. 61. What’s your favorite smell? The smells of clean....clean laundry, the earth after rain, the smell of hair after it's washed, skin after a bath/shower, etc. 62. Favorite basketball team: Al-Jazira, Egyptian team 63. Favorite cereal: Chocolate, or Grape Nuts. 64. Do you drive: No. 65. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? 48 hours 66. Last time you went bowling? Years ago, on Family Land, Maadi. 67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? In a wheat field. 68. Who was your last phone call? Nisma, a girl I knew from Maadi before I moved to Zayed 69. Last time you were at work? I'm at work. 70. What's your favorite state to be in? Right now? Right where I am. - Silly Ellie

Monday, June 11, 2007

Thinking About You

Have you ever thought of someone finding that after few seconds he is calling you on the phone or have you ever tried to call someone and found that he answers the phone telling you, I was just thinking about you. If it happened to you (which I'm sure it did) then you are invited to share my new theory that I made after two years of studying this extraordinary phenomena and I called it (ba`atan El-Roh) or sending the soul. Whenever you think of someone your body, mind and soul send electronic waves to this person no matter where he might be, these electronic waves are like the finger prints, so your waves are only yours and the recipient would know that it was YOU when he receives your waves. The feeing of the recipient depends on the strength, duration and the length of your waves, so if you thought of someone for a short time then the waves wouldn’t be so strong and the recipient might not feel them or feel them but ignore them and if you thought for someone for a long time and your feelings were so strong, take it for me this person will surly think of you at the same time. The reaction might differ from one person to another, some might pay you a visit some might call you on the phone, some might talk to the people around them about you others might ignore their feelings but their minds will be busy thinking of you. So this is a very good way for people to contact with one another and I bet in the future we wouldn’t need cell phones at all, we will just send our souls, and it could also be a very harmful way if you are planning to distract someone from their lives. But be ware if there is some one in the family you should give a call and he passed through your mind, then you should run to the phone and call him in advance so he wouldn’t call and tell you , "hey man, where are you, I was just thinking about you"

- Silly Ellie

Thursday, June 07, 2007

My Marriage age is 29, What is yours?

How old are you going to be when you get married?
Put an X in every box that applies to you
[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You do your own laundry
[x ] You vote in every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[ x] You think politics are exciting
TOTAL SO FAR: 5
[ ] You show up for school/college/work every day early
[x] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse
[x ] You've never gotten a detention
[x ] You have never smoked a cigarette
[ x] You have never gotten completely trashed out of your head
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x ] You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You've watched talk shows
[x] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up
[] You drink coffee at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR: 12
[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x ] You can count to 10 in another language
[ ] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x] My parents trust me
[X ] You can mow the lawn
[X] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[ ] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You pay attention at school/college
[ x] You remember to feed your pets
TOTAL SO FAR: 20
[x] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up
[ ] You work out on a regular basis
[ ] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[x ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[] You have gained weight since middle/high school
[ x] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[ ] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type quickly
TOTAL SO FAR: 25
[] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a tupperware party
[x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[ ] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[X] You can say no to staying out all night
[x] You use the internet every day
[ ] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while
[X] You can read a book and actually finish it
TOTAL ADDED UP: 29
Add up all the x's and title subject with the sum as "My marriage age is "x total

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Fighting The Girl In Me

I’m out to fight the devil but never fought myself Read a thousand books but never read myself My soul is starving it needs to be fed, lord I need your help Hell with the devil my biggest enemy’s myself It makes me wonder, am I doing this for the right reasons? I mean the money, the fame, and game all sounds appealing Instead of entertaining I prefer to enlighten But then again, who am I to be in a position To represent a whole generation of kids and to make them believe When till this day I still struggle to uphold my deen I read a 100 God is great in less then a minute And though my tongue is fast like twister My hearts not in it. Dedicated to the girl living in my head

- Silly Ellie

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Lost In The Crowed

Went to work today feeling tired and not in the mood, I stayed there for a while and then I made the money I wanted to deposit in my bank account an excuse to leave the office. Toke a cab, reached the place, sat there enjoying the cold air condition and waited till 7 other clients deposited their money. When I'm done I felt like I want to lose my self and just walk. On my way I kept watching all the shops, I kept standing in front of every single shop, and watching the people around me. I closed my eyes for a second thinking that I'm on the beach not in the sunny, noisy and crowded Tahrir street, with my sunglasses on my bag on my shoulder and enjoying every single moment I live. I saw the promotion of some movies displayed on a Cinema, Spider man 3, no I'm too old for this, Pirates of the Caribbean, then I was hit by a desire to buy a ticket and set in front of the screen, watch the movie and indulge with the story till I'm part of it. I saw my self, the fair lady with long big dress and flying brownish hair, sailing on the ocean and captured by the pirates, fighting with Jack sparrow (Jonny depp) and then falling in love with him, having my little pirates who are courageous like their father and mother. I remembered then how I used to look 6 years ago when I was….mmm, (not practicing religion), baggy trousers black painted eyes, and nails, wearing a necklace of cute skulls :) I woke up from my dream on a beautiful sight of flowers' shop, I stepped in decided to buy my self flowers, its been long since any one bought me flowers, mmmm, it seems that they don’t sell my favorite daisies, it’s a very pure and happy rose, just looking at it erases my pain away. Changed my mind, no I don’t want to buy flowers today, I'll just enjoy the company of me and keep walking, feeling the blessing of being a lone, yea… sometimes loneliness is a blessing. All my life I'm in the street either running home or heading for a place where someone is waiting for me and I'm 30 minutes late. But this is was one of my fewest times that I enjoyed walking with no one but me, no reason for walking than just to enjoy the hell of it. And it worked. Two lovers walking hand in hand were almost going to trap me into the feeling of loneliness and depression again, but the scene of two married couple (or so it seemed) were fighting over something, I laughed to my self and thanked God that there is no one to ruin these precious moments, when I feel like discovering my self and discovering the world around me. Public buss was broken down and everyone is off to give a push, two school girls fighting, one semi-naked woman walking and every man around is looking as if she is an alien. My work is two blocks away, I stopped at the super market, felt my stomach is yelling at me (I'm Hungry, bring me something to eat), grabbed a family size Doritos and then remembered that I have plenty of food in my office. Went to the office, the cold air of the air condition playing at my face, I laughed to my self secretly that I was able to run away from all this world and enjoy being lost in me for a while.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

A Tale of a Yellow Papered Book

In front of me now there is a yellow papered book laying on the shelf , it was published in…wait a minute....in 1972, then it is 35 years old book. maybe it is not so old but it has a story of its own. Here the story goes, my eldest sister got this book from Sur Al-Azbakiah (a place in Cairo for selling old and used books) when I was 10 years old, it is about 1500 pages, containing three novels and the last one is unfinished.
Ok. then what is so special about it Silly Ellie?
I'll tell you, the author of this book was a physician who was very much interested in history, he wrote about 7 novels and 2 researches on Egyptology and history. After reading four of his novels you can't help but fall in love with every word he writes, my sister and I went to the publishing house where this book was published decades back, we met there a young handsome man, called Ahamad, we hesitated to ask him at the beginning thinking he would make fun of the two fools coming asking about a book published 35 years ago. My sister told me we came all this way and we can't turn back on our heels now, we approached him and asked if he is the owner of the place he said "yes ", "Is your father a live?" my sister asked, he looked at us suspiciously wondering what the hell we want from his father and said "yes he is live and kicking, what do you want from him". phew, my sister and I were relieved, then we told him all the story from the day we laid our eyes on this book. Ahmed laughed out loud and told us, "it is an easy job, I'll take you to my Dad and you can ask him yourselves, follow me". He walked into a dark warehouse inside the place, with big and dusty publishing machines, we followed Ahmad silently then we went through a dark tunnel with very strong smell and I heard noises of rats, I ran and clanged to my sister's hand, I was so afraid that I cursed this book and cursed my favorite writer ever. The tunnel lead to a very small and dusty room in which a very old man was sitting on a wheel chair, putting a blanket on his legs and looking at the ceiling. Ahmed called at him "Ya Hajj, ya Hajj", at the beginning I thought this man is deaf and then he looked right at us and listened to Ahmed while he was watching both of us closely, at one point I felt like my legs want to let go and run, fearing this man would turn into an evil creature or we would be surrounded by hundreds of ETs. The old man opened his mouth to speak and there were no teeth at all, we tried to figure out what he was saying, but with no avail, Ahmad played the interpreter role and told us the story of Ibrahim As`ad, the author of this book, "he was a very rich man, he was a very famous physician, ohhhhhh that man was very kind hearted he would hand me 5 piasters and tell me get something for your kids, what a man, May he rest in peace", "Is he dead?" my sister and I cried, "yes long time ago in a very mysterious accident, he used to write these books for the sake of it, he didn’t do it for money, as I told you he was a rich man, he told me once, I know the truth and I should reveal it before it kills me and I know it kills me, after this I heard he died in a car accident but his body was never found" the old man said. My sister and I left the place puzzled even more than before and we tried to ask everyone if they know the man, but with no avail, searched for his books every where but there is no trace of a single line he wrote other than this book in our hands. One day my sister was preparing for her wedding and went to her new apartment to arrange the books of hers and her husband in their new home and then she found another novel of Ibrahim As`d, she ran to the phone called her husband and asked him where did you get this book from? "From Sur Al-Azbakiah, why? Is there something wrong?" he said.

Friday, May 18, 2007

These Thoughts of Mine

Sometimes, I really just wish that I had someone I could just talk to and be totally brutally honest with, without having to worry about them judging me, not wanting to listen, not being able to trust them or opening up... Just about the little things in life that get me down, because everyone has them.
Sometimes, I feel like I can't open up, because it's a sign of weakness, or because I'm scared that I might expose some sort of vulnerability, or because my problems will just seem stupid and/or pathetic in the eyes of others. Or, in worst case scenario, they'll think that I'm after attention for them.
Which, in a way, makes this a sort of written thoughts to no one really, as no one (as I'm aware of) would be reading this any time soon.
And sometimes, I even regret writing these thoughts of mine:(

WHY WOMEN CRY

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?", "Because I need to" she said."I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," his dad answered carelesslyThe little boy, still wondering why women cry.
Finally asked the old wise old man. "He surely knows the answer", he thought. "Oh old man! Why do women cry so easily?"He answered:
"When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children.
He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly.
He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.And lastly, He gave her a tear.
This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, it's hers."
"You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
The little boy got the answer and never asked the question again.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Jenny in a bottle

One moth now and everyday I keep on rubbing the bottle so that my Jenny would come out but all my efforts go in vain. I keep telling myself… go Ellie, you are made for it, you have so much inside that you can share with people. Don't let the pen freak you out, it is just a tool so you can do it and let your writing Jenny come out. You just need to believe in your self more, take it easy, hold your pen, start writing, write anything. No no no don’t erase, edit or correct anything now. No don’t read now, don’t edit now Let your pen speaks…don’t shut it up…its your sword now. See Ellie it was easy, now you and your pen became close friends. Ok Ellie now leave it for a while so it would catch its breath and take some rest, Ellie, it is exhausted now Just go for a cup of tea or for something to eat Don’t you have anything to do other than writing Oh my God why did I let this Jenny out :(