1. Garden furniture


I wouldn’t claim that I know anything about garden furniture all I know is that in a garden there should be few chairs, a table, and an umbrella and in my opinion there has to be a rocking chair and a swing.


In a nice sunny day, nothing ever is like reading a book while you are setting down on a comfortable rocking chair and beside you a nice hot cup of tea on the table, and nothing is like playing sound of nature in the mp3 player and taking a nap in the swing.


I think I envy the first man because they didn’t have the unhealthy beds that we sleep on now and causes us all these back pains, I wish I can just go to the jungle and sleep on the swing.



2. Marilyn Monroe


I read an article when I was young about how she committed suicide and how miserable and unhappy she was, it made me think, she was very beautiful, she had money, and she was famous what else did she need to make her happy.


Years after I realised that happiness is not in all these thing, happiness in my opinion is to be in peace with your self and with others, to feel content and blessed with what you have no matter how small it is, a thing that I always fail to do that’s why I often feel unhappy.


What I remember about her is the film Niagara falls, the part when she was running up the tower and tried to make a phone call used to be in an intro of one of my favourite programs that used to come every week.



3. The earth’s core


That seems a pretty hot area, all I know about the earth’s core, or let’s say or what I think is that it’s a big ball of solid material like a metal ball, for me this is the only logical explanation for the earth under my feet so solid.


I know that you might think I’m ignorant or silly but what is down there never interested me, actually it frightens me to think about it, I just like to keep the idea in my mind that earth is solid and flat and that the sun revolves around the earth and not the other way around.


4. Eagles


Beautiful birds, it amazes me how Arabs own them as pets, and you see the big massive Arab man with the eagle on his hand.


My husband put Zamzam, our crazy kitten, on his arm and keeps on imagining that she is an eagle.


Eagles are honourable animals, they don’t eat dead animals, and they hunt to eat. The fact that they fly so high makes me want to just be an eagle for a day and experience this awesome feeling of freedom and of seeing the world from a very broad view.


5. Fireworks


I never been o fireworks till I came to London and I went two weeks ago to Fireworks in Blackheath, it was awesome; it was one of the best experiences I had since I came to the country.


We went to this big Blackheath field, it’s like the size of two football field and we watched the fireworks for half an hour. When I was there at one point I felt that its not descending on me rather I’m ascending high to touch the heavens, there were all sorts of shapes and colours, though some think it’s a waste of money but if I had money I will rent the whole field and do the fire works only for me and I will just sleep on my back on the ground.


- Silly Ellie

Still Writing

After long absence I wanted you to know that I was away from the blog but I wasn’t away from the project as I carry with me a notebook to carry out all the work and exercises I have to do and then copy it here so you can read, comment and learn as well.

So I’ll add all the things I’ve done for the past few days in one entry.

Day 03        18/11/09


Notebooks

Second entry by Paul Magras was about how keeping a notebook with you at all times to help you jot down all the things you think of and all the expressions and ideas that you would wish to use in your writing journey, so after I finished work, though I was tired and drained, ran to Tescos and bought a nice little notebook and nice gel pens so it will make writing more appealing to me.


Day 04      19/11/09

Third entry in the first chapter is called ‘on keeping a diary’ and the author, Nicole Ward Jouve mentioned what diaries have been for her, she said,

Diaries were fore here a source of tactile and visual pleasure, a trusted friend and the beginning of mastering one’s own voice in writing.

Reading this entry reminded me of how I used to keep a diary and I wouldn’t go to sleep with out chatting with my trusted imaginary friend called diary but after marriage and after life’s responsibility I left that friend and I thought I can survive on my own but as a matter of fact I need my diaries more than ever because when responsibilities overload me I just want to let it all out and say whatever I want to say, and there is no one ever that makes me say whatever I want to say without being sarcastice, judgmental or critical but my beloved dairies so in the same notebook I bought yesterday, I’ll revive our old little before bed chats and enjoy the company of my trusted friend again.


Day 05       20/11/09


Clearing some space

We still in the first chapter of the book but this entry by Paul Magras wrote how no one will ever write the same things you do because the voice you have when you write its like a finger print its yours and yours a long, so if even identical twins wrote about the same topic they will write different things using different associations and mentioning varied memories.


Set yourself the following task:




You are going to write a page about each of the following topics, don’t let anything intrude on this exercise. No distractions. Don’t even think about it too deeply or try to make much sense.


Write down (in 5 minutes or so for each topic) what you know about:


1. Garden furniture


2. Marilyn Monroe


3. The earth’s core


4. Eagles


5. Fireworks

Ok for this exercise I’ll make another entry so keep on following my project and if you like, hate or even don’t care about what I do let me know.

- Silly Ellie

Day 02- Still Clearing My Throat

Day 02 Tuesday                    17/11/09



In the same previous entry by Julia Bell that is called (Clearing your throat) she suggested an exercise to help start writing:


Exercise 02


Try the following exercise either by your self or in a group.


Write down five sounds that you can hear. Then list the things that associate with those sounds. A car engine may remind you of being picked up after school, clanking crockery of that summer you worked at Pizza Pie, an aeroplane of your holiday to Ibiza.


Ok now I need to close my eyes and list 5 sounds and then list the things that are associated with theses sounds.


Sound of the processor and HD inside my lap top


This sound reminds of Amal’s, my sister, lap top when I used to stay up all night at her place google stuff and read things and feeling happy that I can do that from the bed and I don’t have to get up set down in front of the PC that in most cases I used to put in a cold area in the house.


A bus passing by my window


Its strange now how I know from the sound of the bus's  engine if it a bus or just a car, yeah I know that is easy and I might not be the only one who knows that but I know from the bus’s engine sound if it is a single or double dock ;)
Also if i heard that sound first thing in the morning i can tell if it is raining outside or if it was raining last night.


The radiator is clicking to balance temperature in the house


Again this reminds me of my sister’s radiator in Zayed because it resembles the one I have now in model, even in the clicking sound it makes to adjust the room temperature, I used to love the feeling when it was very cold outside I would run upstairs to my sister’s flat and the warmth of her house would greet me like a soothing wind and my sister would greet me with an Egyptian hot and sugary cup of tea.


Zamzam, my kitten, is running back and forth in the room


It just reminds me of Zamzam, she is absolutely insane, she keeps running back and forth thinking she is a horse in a horse race.


Zamzam is purring


Which is associated with our cuddly time before both of us go to bed, so its her way to tell me it’s late we need to head to bed now.


- Silly Ellie

Day 01- Clearing my Throat

Day 1 Monday 16/11/09



Like I mentioned in the previous entry that I will start reading the book ‘the Creative writing course book’ and set a challenge to finish reading the book and do all the exercises or the suggestions mentioned in it in 6 weeks. The book is written by 40 famous and respectable writers and journalists and each one writes an article or an entry to help the readers of the book master the art of writing. As I started reading the first chapter I’ll share with you what I’ve done so far.


Chapter 01- Getting Started


Clearing your throat by Julia Bell


Bell explained how good writing depends on practice and highlighted how the encounter with blank page in the beginning and finding a voice that will carry your thoughts and feelings is often terrifying. Therefore, she suggested the best way to encounter this problem is…to write.






Exercise 01


Start off with notes, fragments, half sentences, until the stuttering stops and you find yourself writing full sentences, paragraphs, pages.


Start off with what you had for tea, the last phone call you made, the colour of your lover’s eyes, your favourite CD. Give yourself a subject and write about it, without stopping or correcting yourself, for five minutes, just generate some pages, a body of work. Then read it yourself.






Looks pretty easy ha?? Hmm…. So I need to come up with a topic now to write about for 5 minutes without stopping or correcting myself…. Ok let me see…what I had for tea…naaa… the last phone call….mmm I’m expecting a phone call from hubby any minute now but I don’t want to write about that… I got an idea there is a program on channel four in 5 minutes I’ll watch it and then I might write about it or think of something interesting to write about and I’ll post it in a separate entry… aright?

I’m back :)



The documentary was really good but I’ll tell you about it later InshaaAllah. I put the pen on the paper for 5 minutes non stop and here is what I wrote.






Feeling my head is pulled down by an immense heavy weight caused by the headache I have. I called my husband at work, while I was dialling the number I felt my eyes are going to pop out my head and sharp pain ran through my forehead.


I wish I can see what happens inside the head when you have a headache. When I was young when people used to say that they suffer from headache, I couldn’t understand the concept of headaches. So I used to act as if I have a headache, narrow my eyes, hold my forehead with my hands, and play ‘I have a headache’ game, I even used to pretend that my sweets, which looked like pills, that they are the pills I take to cure me from my headache.


I think that this make believe or this ‘I have a headache’ game was just a way to feel grown up, to act like grown ups, and behave like them.


I didn’t know back then that I would wish when I’m a grown up to go back and be a headache-less child again.


- Silly Ellie

The Creative Writing Project

Last week I watched a movie called ‘Julie and Julia’ that is about a frustrated with a soul-killing job, Julie Powell, who embarks on a daring project and calls it the Julie/ Julia project where she vows to master all 524 recipes in Julia Childs' landmark cookbook `Mastering the Art of French Cooking’ in a year and shares the recipes and her thoughts about the book and its author with her Blog readers.



There was nothing special about the movie but the fact that Julie was approaching her thirties and she found herself doing a job she hates and realized that her days are passing by and there is nothing in her life makes her happy. After watching the film I started to think that’s me, I’m doing a job I don’t like, I feel that nothing brings me joy anymore and maybe the hundred articles, stories and poems I wanted to write and didn’t write so far because I didn’t really commit my self to it and/or maybe because I yet need to master the writing skill.


Suddenly I was filled with enthusiasm and kept looking for ways to help me master the art of writing and then yesterday I went to the library and borrowed a book called ‘The Creative Writing Course Book’. Today I started reading the book on my way to Taiyybun course and I realised that this going to be my 6 weeks project and I called it The Creative Writing Project.


I’ll read every chapter of this book and I’ll do the exercises or the techniques that are suggested in the book and share what I do or write with you guys. However, I need to put a realistic dead date so I can commit and feel that I achieved something once I’m done, the best time limit I can give to my self would be 6 weeks, why? Because this is the longest period I can borrow the book from the library ;)


So I’ll finish Chapter 1 and I’ll do the exercises and share it with you as I go along, if you want to awaken your writing giant, then come on let’s do the exercises together and share your thoughts with me.


- Silly Ellie

I’ll Fight in a Different Way

Tuesday November 03, 2009- 11:30 PM

“ Please I want to go back, I want to be the person I was, I want to see the world with my old eyes, I can’t take it here anymore, this war is not mine to fight, can I just leave this battlefield?” she told him under her soft begging sobs.

Its been two years since she left her country, she thought back then that this is what every thing, a girl in her age, would wish for, married to someone she loves dearly and going to live with him in one of the biggest capitals in the world. She loves her country but she wanted to see the world, wanted to learn different things and meet different people even if it is for a while.

Now she feels so hurt, lost and her soul is dying, she thought to herself “ Now I ended up doing a job I hate because in this city it is a privilege to do what you like, sometimes people here do what they hate for the rest of their lives just to make ends meet. This is not how I want to live my life, I do a job that kills my soul, teaching for me is a boring, demanding job where I repeat information I already know to people who don’t care to learn.

I was also happy to participate in voluntary work in my local Masjid but I came to realise that this community is not ready for me yet, it is too young for what I expect them to be and they are rather threatened by my thoughts and ideas that’s why I believe some of the people from this community behave in a rather offensive manner because ‘you always fear what you don’t know’, so out of fear of me they hurt me. Also, coming from my mature community I know that I expected a lot from this immature and young community, which put me under a lot of pressure.


So for two years I gained nothing, I achieved nothing I obtained nothing but disappointments, frustrations and my spiritual life has been affected badly. I think what I need to do is to rearrange my priorities, not because I said yes to a certain commitment though I hate to do it, to carry on and do it and stay miserable”


The voice in her head keeps screaming louder and louder now, “ Let it go, leave and don’t feel guilty about anything, we make our tomorrow by the choices we make today, think of one thing you used to do that made you happy, do it again and maybe you’ll start to be the old person you were, and let go to all the new things that put you under pressure and doesn’t help you achieve your goals”


She discovered by letting go, she will be able to think clear, to do what she likes to do the most…. To write, about all things and everything, to connect back with her self, emotions and dreams.

He saw her eyes are glowing now though a minute ago it was sad and full of regret but as if someone lit a light in her soul, she is glowing, she seems hopeful as she held her eyes on his, smiled and said, “ Thank you for listening to me, I think I know my baby the answer to my question, I will not leave this battlefield, I’ll just fight in a different way.”


- Silly Ellie

Long live Palestine...Long Live Gaza!

Yesterday, January 10th 2009 i went to a national rally that was attended by 100.000 people, we gathered in Hyde park, speakers corner and then we marched to the Israeli embassy. here are some videos of the protest: Long live Palestine...Long Live Gaza! Gawllaway. Annie Lennox. Paul Rowen MP Gathering in Hyde Park. - Silly Ellie

My first `Eid in London

My previouse Eid experiences, that were all in Egypt, wither in Fayoum, Maadi or Zayed, were full of joy and happiness. I Would feel the Eid spirit days before the actual day of Eid, we go out buy new cloths, see decorations in the streets, arrange with family to meet. On Eid day we would wake up early go to the masjid and decorate it, prepare gifts for the kids when they come to the masjid, then attend the prayer. My best part is when i get my `Eidiyyah (new money as a gift in Eid) from my masjid teacher and then sing some nashids in the masjid, see all the sisters and then go home to eat the lovely fatta with all the family that come to our place. This years Eid, I felt so depressed days before, because there is no Eid spirit, all decorations in the streets are Christmas stuff, most Muslims here doesn’t even know when is Eid some doesn’t even know that there is Eid. On day of Arafa I felt the spirit by fasting and knowing that Alhamdulilah and inshaaAllah Allah forgave my last year’s sins and the coming one, I went with my husband as well to buy gifts for the family and my husband bought me new phone, instead of the one I put in the washing machine :(. On Eid day I went to pray in the mosque, that was undecorated and no sign that it is Eid apart from Eid prayers that was made four prayers because mosques are small and can’t take all the numbers of Muslims, so the prayers were done four times. After the prayer I waited to see some of the sisters I know, and I found only two, we had a chat for a little while and then I left to go home, I searched the internet for an event for Muslims and I found this promotion about 1 Eid event. Just reading the promotion mad me wanna fly there and enjoy all the lovely things and feel the spirit of Eid like what they say in the promotion. Though the place was far and we drove for about an hour to get there, I was shocked by the state of things, and how Muslims are unorganized and uneducated about manners, personal hygiene and tidiness. I wouldn’t speak more I will just show you the pictures. there was an offensive smell in the ladies' room and kids nappies was allover the place, c'mon Muslims i think we know how to use the bins.

Student's leaflets and college stuff along with food left on the tables.

food left on chairs on the tables.

the stage that was most of the time closed with no performers or lectures and the women made a lot of noise that you wouldnt even hear the performer if there was a performance.

food left on the table agian:8

i think as Muslims we still don't know how to celebrate properly, though we need to be examples to non-Muslims but i think we should learn keeping our celebration gatherings clean, tidy and organized.

Silly Ellie

I’ll Be There for you…Daaah

So no one told you life was going to be this way.

Your job's a joke, you're broke, you’re love life's DOA.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear,

Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.

I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.

I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.

All of us at one point or the other tapped our feet to the tone, hummed some of its words or even sang along this song whenever we watch Friends, but have you ever asked yourself what does it mean to be a friend?, what you should do? What to expect from them? When to fight for them and when to let go? I started to ask myself those questions when an incident happened to me and I realized that I lost a friend of mine or let’s say that I didn’t even have this friend it was just pretence or a make believe. Lately I realized that friendship consists of two words, Friend and ship which means, in my opinion, that this relationship is like a ship if the two people on this ship didn’t make the effort, soon it will sink, one of them might try hard to keep it steady, face the storm and not be afraid of thunder but soon he/she will get weak and would leave the whole ship to sink. Upon realizing this, now I know that I was facing a lot of thunderous storms, dangerous ocean and tried to sail a ship I shouldn’t be on in the first place, I also realized that I left my ship, the ship I should have been in, the ship where my true friend was fighting to sail on her own. For those whom I forsaken our ship now I come back and I regret not helping you in sailing our ship, and not fighting enough for our friendship. For those who wasted my energy, time and feelings I regret knowing you and I regret the effort I put into something futile and something fake. But before standing back where I should be, I should say my friendship vows to those who mean a lot to me, to those who really were there for me: - If friendship means believing in them, accepting them as they are, I say now, I will believe in you no matter how crazy you might be and I will not try to change you, I’ll accept you the way you are.

- If friendship means not giving up on them, I say now, I’ll never give up on you, because I’m so fortunate to have you in my life.

- If friendship means not being afraid to say I am sorry, then now I say, I’m sorry for not helping you, supporting you, or showing how much I appreciate you.

- If friendship means trusting, then now I say, I trust you and I will not try to hide behind my foolish masks thinking I can make it without you, because the fact is, I cant, I cant make it without you, you mean so much to me, so please, forgive me and let’s sing a long.

I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.

I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.

I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too. - Soooooo Silly Ellie