Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Lost In The Crowed

Went to work today feeling tired and not in the mood, I stayed there for a while and then I made the money I wanted to deposit in my bank account an excuse to leave the office. Toke a cab, reached the place, sat there enjoying the cold air condition and waited till 7 other clients deposited their money. When I'm done I felt like I want to lose my self and just walk. On my way I kept watching all the shops, I kept standing in front of every single shop, and watching the people around me. I closed my eyes for a second thinking that I'm on the beach not in the sunny, noisy and crowded Tahrir street, with my sunglasses on my bag on my shoulder and enjoying every single moment I live. I saw the promotion of some movies displayed on a Cinema, Spider man 3, no I'm too old for this, Pirates of the Caribbean, then I was hit by a desire to buy a ticket and set in front of the screen, watch the movie and indulge with the story till I'm part of it. I saw my self, the fair lady with long big dress and flying brownish hair, sailing on the ocean and captured by the pirates, fighting with Jack sparrow (Jonny depp) and then falling in love with him, having my little pirates who are courageous like their father and mother. I remembered then how I used to look 6 years ago when I was….mmm, (not practicing religion), baggy trousers black painted eyes, and nails, wearing a necklace of cute skulls :) I woke up from my dream on a beautiful sight of flowers' shop, I stepped in decided to buy my self flowers, its been long since any one bought me flowers, mmmm, it seems that they don’t sell my favorite daisies, it’s a very pure and happy rose, just looking at it erases my pain away. Changed my mind, no I don’t want to buy flowers today, I'll just enjoy the company of me and keep walking, feeling the blessing of being a lone, yea… sometimes loneliness is a blessing. All my life I'm in the street either running home or heading for a place where someone is waiting for me and I'm 30 minutes late. But this is was one of my fewest times that I enjoyed walking with no one but me, no reason for walking than just to enjoy the hell of it. And it worked. Two lovers walking hand in hand were almost going to trap me into the feeling of loneliness and depression again, but the scene of two married couple (or so it seemed) were fighting over something, I laughed to my self and thanked God that there is no one to ruin these precious moments, when I feel like discovering my self and discovering the world around me. Public buss was broken down and everyone is off to give a push, two school girls fighting, one semi-naked woman walking and every man around is looking as if she is an alien. My work is two blocks away, I stopped at the super market, felt my stomach is yelling at me (I'm Hungry, bring me something to eat), grabbed a family size Doritos and then remembered that I have plenty of food in my office. Went to the office, the cold air of the air condition playing at my face, I laughed to my self secretly that I was able to run away from all this world and enjoy being lost in me for a while.


  1. Asmaa Mahrous9:25 am

    I agree with you that sometimes loneliness is a blessing. Talking with yourself, smiling secretly and looking at people with a new perspective makes you appreciate what you have.
    But when loneliness leads to imagine that you're Johnny depp's kids mother....I think you should see a consultant.

  2. I totally agree with you, I should see a consultant, so would you please give me the contact of the one you see? ;)

    Thank you Ya Samou2a I really miss your killing jokes.

  3. Tears are rolling down my cheeks :(

    Crowed is without an e.

    Please stop the pain
    Please remove the e!

  4. Ustaz Kaledovic,

    what is the name of this blog?

    "Thoughts of mine" and who's mine? its ME so its not IOL and i wont remove the e because i've had it with the copyediting dep' :)

    its fun to make grammatical mistakes for a change so plz don't spoil the fun here:)

    -Silly Ellie